im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
