i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize