apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
