fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He felt like a one man threesome
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
