can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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