apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize