Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
