Plan B is the new Plan A
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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