8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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