i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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