he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
