and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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