new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
