Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
