i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
