Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
