I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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