I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
