I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
