So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
