fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize