Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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