This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
