i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I FOUND THE LEGS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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