I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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