He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
