I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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