I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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