the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she told me i tasted like america
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
