seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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