I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
