i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I understand Curling. That high.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
