well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
