weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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