Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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