I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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