Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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