I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
