i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
