Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
