Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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