East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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