STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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