I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
