glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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