I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
