He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
