whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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