Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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