first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We have so much sex to catch up on
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
