blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
