Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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