Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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