did you get engaged???
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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