I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
cat food counts as protein by the way
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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