Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
