i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
