I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
