u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
