ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
