Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
