i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
